看来我好像又再看清楚一点了

不好意思 当初的天真过

虽然表面上看起来好像没什么损失

可是一切回想起来都觉得有点可怕

我以为人都是真诚的

至少曾经我相信的人是

真的是“我以为”

可能是对人有期待所以才会失望

写这篇博文是为了提醒自己

要用更宽容的心看待世界发生的一切事物

所有的事情发生都是刚刚好我需要的

包括令我了解人与人之间相处并不一定像我想象的要坦诚相待

也许别人也有别的看法与活法

我想我也不应该执着于这一个

只是心里还是觉得这是让人却步的感觉实在会让我停止

自然反应要保护自己

还是不大适应需要活在猜测人心的世界

人可以简单一点吗

左脑太发达是人类对生命的退化

一直期盼这样好好的休息

什么都不想

原来我还是个这么宅的一个人

喜欢这样的

不接收繁杂的资讯

不感觉人的思绪

平时不管是我为人人或人人为我

都很消耗

享受

这种平静的感觉

虽然我知道生命的意义不仅如此

有谁不想活出生命呢？

我会活下去 真正的

只是想要休息一下

不需别人的体会了解

反正误会已经成山了

如叛逆就说：call it what you want

随便 我也不会什么华丽的演说

只能默默的用文字来表达

至少文字还是比较没那尴尬局面

不知道达人为什么这么复杂

我只想清清楚楚过日子

却被一堆不明的动机淹没

然后被指责 比较 映射

我还是讨厌自己的高敏感

如果我能笨一点就好了

能够糊里糊涂的过

一切的一切

像林夕写的：不满才是圆满

生命就是如此吧

在下着雨的同时

一位朋友联络我

我回电

说了一段时间

最后她说没机会了

忽然的哀伤

原来她父亲刚刚去世

这朋友虽说不是聪明高学历

但却难得在城市里

交到挺单纯善良的朋友

毕竟我本身是高敏感的人

很容易就能体会别人的动机

（这不会是好事，该迟钝些，会比较快乐）

可以理解她父亲也是善良的人

可惜误信朋友

对于家人来说会难受吧

一去不回的感觉

原来我不大会安慰

希望一切会更好吧

不忧伤 只是感觉有点低

林夕的词就是那么能够表达

陳奕迅

Shall We Talk

Lyricist：林夕
Composer：陳輝陽
Arranger：金培達

明月光　為何又照地堂
寧願在公園躲藏　不想喝湯
任由目光　留在漫畫一角
為何望母親一眼就如罰留堂

孩童只盼望歡樂　大人只知道期望
為何都不大懂得努力體恤對方
大門外有蟋蟀　迴響卻如同幻覺
Shall we talk　Shall we talk
就當重新手拖手去上學堂

陪我講　陪我講出我們最後何以生疏
誰怕講　誰會可悲得過孤獨探戈
難得　可以同座　何以　要忌諱赤裸
如果心聲真有療效　誰怕暴露更多　你別怕我

螢幕發光　無論什麼都看
情人在分手邊緣只敢喝湯
若沉默似金　還談什麼戀愛
寧願在發聲機器面前笑著忙

成人只寄望收穫　情人只聽見承諾
為何都不大懂得努力珍惜對方
螳螂面對蟋蟀　迴響也如同幻覺
Shall we talk　Shall we talk
就算牙關開始打震　別說謊

陪我講　陪我講出我們最後何以生疏
誰怕講　誰會可悲得過孤獨探戈
難得　可以同座　何以　要忌諱赤裸
如果心聲真有療效　誰怕暴露更多

陪我講　陪我親身正視眼淚誰跌得多
無法講　除非彼此已失去了能力觸摸
鈴聲　可以寧靜　難過　卻避不過
如果沉默太沉重　別要輕輕帶過

明月光　為何未照地堂
孩兒在公司很忙　不需喝湯
And shall we talk　斜陽白趕一趟
沉默令我聽得見葉兒聲聲降

真的有点痛

不能入眠

恻恻的痛

向左向右还是一样

忽然想起了这部落格

看一下 蛮怀念的

青涩的我写的是这么的可爱

现在好像有点大了

不再那么的 年少轻狂

多了忧虑 多了人世经验

现在希望能睡觉

一切会更好吧…

its has been a while not writing here. Its always feel good to read about my blog for past lives. How about now? how about future？

it will be great in future i believe.

No matter hows the life now. I’ll accept things that happened. It must be happened for a reason.

I’ll learn. learn to live. Live well.

I guess the home work of life going to unveil, soon.

No matter what, i wish all best goes to ppl around me.

Today is the most complicated plus mixed emotions in my intern life.

Gonna to tell story again…quite long story..

There is a psycho Auntie which I didn’t realise that she is psycho at first until I was in the same department with her.This auntie used to talk to me in hakka and seem like very friendly to me. She just has a kind-looking and chatted a lot with me from the first day I met her. There was one day she talked bad about my friend and criticized other races, but my friend and I just thought that she might be a little bit aggressive about races and a little bit weird.

This week I was placed in biochem department. There are 6 sections and very unfortunately, the system was broken down, biochem process is highly depend on the online system. So, they had to run offline/ manually for all the samples. However, that is not the main point. Yesterday, I went for her section and planned to work there for 2 days. I had no idea why she want to be dead against me. At first, she was explaining the procedures just faced to the malay girl and I was like trying to catch up what she’ve said. Then suddenly, she told the malay girl that I very blur right in front of me and said ” Your first day here doesn’t mean that u have right to not knowing anything”. Frankly speaking, I was very angry, and felt innocent because I’ve done nothing wrong and you didn’t teach how I supposed to know everything. DAMN IT! I did asked the malay girl was I really blurred? The malay girl said she also had no idea why the auntie said so.

Right after the word, I was very serious for the whole day, not smiling to her anymore, just done what she asked and the test was damn simple. The whole day I just listened to her complaining about everything, scolding everybody. Soon I came to a conclusion, that are some problems with this person.

So oklor, I was supposed to stay that section for 2 days and today she had to attend a course where she’s not in the list. ( I curi-curi over heard the other stuff told her that course offers to Pegawai Sains only, she is just juruteknik ) But still, she is attending! >_< ll Then she asked me to work all the things for her. Then today early in the morning, a few pegawai sains came to me and asked all the trainee to go back main section, they are lacking of people. I did explain to them that I was supposed to at the aunty section there. U know what, I got a very ‘geng’ respond, the pegawai sains said :” HER THINGS CAN WAIT, TELL HER IS PN. T ORDER, ANYTHING ASK HER TALK TO ME!”. wah…oklor, I’m just a trainee, of course I listen to the big people ma. I did feel bad, so I left a note for her.

There is a Popo in the main section pointed at me and told the pegawai sains that she want me to follow her. I stunned and walked away from the other 3 trainees. Then I think maybe because I did help her out a little bit on the first day so she want me continue gua..and then she told me about their hatred to the auntie. She told me that the whole lab knew that auntie got mental problem.omg…only I knew that the auntie pissed off all the stuffs there…but actually I don’t want involve with their complicated gossip thing la…So I just listened.

Then I was working there, actually quite grateful because popo actually did treasure me and thank me for my helping. Their stuff relationship among each other is great. A more suprise thing is, popo will come looking for me and bring me to the free breakfast. By the way, we met the auntie, she is smiling to everyone and walking around BUT SHE NEVER GO BACK TO HER SECTION AND NOT NOTICE MY NOTE! I knew it when I met her on the porch when I was going to lunch. Then I told her that was an order. After I came back from my lunch, don’t know why so bad luck, I met her again in the doorway. TMD!  I was actually trying to escape from her and talk to my friends, manatau, she called me. haih…Then she asked me back to her section, she told PN. T dy. T____T Oklor, whatever, I back to her section, load all the sample, then I back to main section to inform popo that I was ordered to back again. Popo kinda of not allowed me back , kept dragging me, asked me help this help that. Then the popo told every stuff that auntie want me back but she don’t care, she’s not allow. Others like very support her, they’re STRONGLY AGREE WITH HER. I sweat again…I’m just a trainee…Back die, not back also die. Luckily the malay girl standby there, and I asked her to do me a favour to help me take care of that section.

Actually after lunch, all the stuffs back to their position and work because the course was over. I’VE NO IDEA WHERE THE HELL SHE WAS GOING BUT NOT WORKING IN HER OWN SECTION. By 4 something when almost time to go home, she appeared in the main section and walking around happily, she saw me,

then asked ” My things done yet? I asked u don’t turn urself here and there…”

I said” Ain(the malay girl) is helping out at ur section”

“Who?WHO??” ( She even don’t know the trainee name)

“The another trainee with me yesterday. Didn’t u go back ur section to have a look?” (I sien diao)

She talking loud ” I CARRY SO MANY THING, U WANT ME TO WALK HERE AND THERE AR?”

(!#%@#%#$*~%!, DAMN)  Not speak of any, I just walked off, continued my work.

Her so-called “many things” are her bags to go home! WHY SHE CAN WALK AROUND AND HERE BUT NOT BACK TO HER OWN PLACE?  The Indian stuff stand aside me and tell me ” Don’t bother her!”

Today is so dramatic for me, and I working non-stop… >___< TOTALLY EXHAUSTED but have to jot this SPECIAL DAY. I really don’t wish to involve with any war between them..I’m just a small small trainee…

I’m totally exhausted now, and I’m supposing studying something right now but my brain was totally stuck.

I’m just too hard to tell the whole story in detail but what I can conclude about today is

I had a hard time today, but

I had some 贵人 for helping me out and giving some very useful advices, and

I had fun time listening to the others interns story although they r in different races,

Well, I knew that

When God closes the doors, somewhere he opens a window.

My heavy breakfast on this morning …

First time taste to it (and also 水饺). Thumbs up!

Seremban many tasty foods around also. =)

BUT, AGAIN, GAIN WEIGHT!!!

haih…

Btw, this delicious dish named 菠菜面with curry鸡。(but the price is considered expensive in Seremban)

I read about him when I was fifteen. The story about him is true? Don’t know yet.

FYI, John Titor claimed that himself is a time traveler from 2036.

The time he predicted there will be a civil war at 2011 after election in US is around the corner.

Lets see…to prove is he true. If yes, our world will be turn out like what he mentioned.

If not, HIS story really interesting to read!

http://johntitor.com/Pages/CivilWar.html